Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
