I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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