Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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