she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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