one might say we're banned from that church
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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