cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
