you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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