This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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