i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
