I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Do vagina's smell?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
