She's JV to your varsity
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
