she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
