Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
