I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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