There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
