It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
