I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
