I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
