I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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