go do what you do best...puke behind churches
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
