Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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