At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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