"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
