i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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