bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
