all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
