You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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