i just wanna soil my oats bro
Me. At least after what I've been through.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize