Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
