I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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