He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize