we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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