idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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