Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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