I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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