either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize