Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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