Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize