I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
