can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
