i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
