Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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