Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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