Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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