i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You ruined the universe
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
