my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize