so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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