are you so shy because you have an std?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize