u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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