Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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