But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
