Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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