Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
