P.S. I can't hear my feet
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
