Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
