Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
