literally had 100 drinks last night.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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