This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Can I color on your dick again?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
