Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
