if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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