Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
