jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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