Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
