Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
