Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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