Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
