Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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