porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
