Someone shit on the floor
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
